Guess what I am fighting with my neighbor over. You wil die laughing.

I have a cat, well not really have a cat but adopted a wild cat from outside. I’m one of those take in strays type of people and so is my girl of 20+ years. We take in cats, people just about anything or one in need. Sorry to say that is a weakness in todays world. I also use to stop and help old women shovel their snow and any woman fix their flat tires if I come across any. I live in Milwaukee and you can’t do that anymore. Chivalry is dead here, killed by bandits. Sometimes the damsel in distress is a scout for people who want to do you harm so I had to stop doing that. It goes against my nature but so does getting robbed so I have stopped helping strangers even though that’s what I am supposed to be doing since I am a Christian. Anyway….

My neighbor is angry with me because the cat I adopted sometimes kills mice and occasionally a bird. My neighbor loves birds and thinks my cat is a murderer and wants me to keep the cat inside at all times. My response to said neighbor… screw you. She is one of the funniest looking people i have ever seen. She looks like a cross between patrick ewing and horshack off welcome back carter, if you put them though the honey i shrunk the kids machine and then did not feed them for a month. anorexics stop her on the street and tell her she needs to eat something. She like the scared straight poster girl for eating disorders. Plus she has the "wiskbroom" ponytail thing happening. Her ponytail is like 1.5 inches long. Looks like a coat hook in kindergarten.

My neighbor is always giving me evil looks and calling the police on her house for anything she can think of. She does this not only to neighbors but to the person who lives upstairs from her. She once called the police because the lady who lives in the upstairs unit (duplex) was smoking weed in her upstairs unit. Its not even her house, they are both renters. Never talked to her never warned her, just up and called the police on her. Now the lady and her upstairs neighbor are in their late 20’s and black. Black people do not call the police before they try to work it out, police are not the friend of any black person living in the ghetto so basically what she did by calling them and giving no warning is an almost acceptable capital crime. Sound rough if you aren’t from the hood but perfectly logical if you are from the ghetto. The upstairs lady works and comes home sometimes she smokes weed, big whoop.

What makes it worst is that this “devil” neighbor has lived there for about 4 months and the upstairs lady has lived there 3 years. This lady calls the landlord on my dog, calls the landlord on my cat and I own my home. I have tried to talk to this lady but she dislikes me and my family because we actually have the nerve to “know” the lady upstairs from her, who we have known for 3 years. She called the humane society on my cat because it comes outside sometimes and it killed a bird once. She got my original cat arrested and I wondered where the cat was for weeks. What do you do with a person like that? Now tell me this isn't a perfect candidate for a background check.

Best online background check i have found if anyone wants to check up on a fruitcake lunitic of their own. It $29 for 3 years unlimited searches. I will post my neighbors as soon as i do it, no name of course but you'll know who i am talking about. I bet she is some kind of escaped nut. How the hell can you be black and live in the hood and call the police on someone for smoking weed in their own house? She need to be sent to the slapping room. Thats what america needs instead of more jails, they need some slapping rooms where idiots get sent to for the day, week or month.

The old me knows exactly what to do with a person like that, but the new and “improved” me doesn’t have a clue. The old me would fire her dead in her jaw and improvise from there. But now since I am acting like a grown up and trying to be a good Christian I don’t know what to do. I can’t call the police because…naw, uh uh, id rather get shot in the stomach than ever do that. And I can’t reason with her because she is just about the most ignorant person I have ever met. She is mad because a cat killed a bird, am I mad at her because sshe took a dump this morning? That’s what cats do and that’s what people do.

So I ask my readers, what should I do to resolve this in a “not ghetto” way? Some other way other than going to war with this alchoholic ugly little febastard? Please give me advice before she catch blows and end up swole up. Because if the police ever come to my door unannounced and its her fault it will be entirely to late for advice to help. I will need need legal advice at that time.

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