The many meanings of funk from coast to coast.

Man I have some work shoes that spread funk like a cold. I don’t cars if you fill them full of powder, put on new socks and plastic bag cover the socks, your feet are going to be funky, even if you only wear them a few minutes. The funk in them old ass gym shoes is almost intelligent. I mean its like them funky shoes is trying to trick you into wearing them. On the outside the shoes are perfect, they look like regular shoes, you’d never suspect the pure evil funk that resides in them. You could do the old smell them before you put them on trick and still get caught with funkyfootidous (I made that up, but it works for me). It took me a long time to figure out that it was the shoes, maybe my girl chijuajua pissed in them, hell he pissed on everything else. You can wear those shoes and smell funky feet when the heat is on in your car. You can wear those shoes in the morning, take them off and wash your feet specifically and put on new socks then put on new shoes and still have funky feet later on in the evening. Those shoes should be famous. That may sound crazy but think about it for a minute. The reason get famous is simple, they are the best at what they do, they do things regular things cant. For Jordan its basketball, for Michael Jackson its entertaining, for funky feet its these old as adidas shell toes. They need to be in the Smithsonian museum in the funk section with george Clinton, parliament, zapp, bootsy Collins and Rick James. That’s one kind of funk, but there are a few others.

Funk can also be a good thing, like with parliament or George Clinton. One nation under a groove is funk, pure and simple, but its good funk. But then there is the type of funk that infects attitudes, as in, Gina got a funky ass attitude. And then there is the type of funk that don’t smell but instead drops, causing all in the vicinity to to be coverd in it. That happens all day long in the hood, funk drops on the regular. Where I am from, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, the actual meaning of funk dropping is use when trouble appears from nowhere, say a gunfight or argument or something. There is also the ultimate compliment aspect of the funk, as in, “this nigga brought the funk!” which of course led to another Midwest ghetto saying, “shitted on” that is used when looking at something exceptional. Slick cars shit on regular cars, big booties shit on little booties, dam that’s funny in a bunch of ways. But that’s how we use it, and it works for us.

I guess that’s all the ways I know how to use funk but I am sure there are others that I just forgot. Oh yea, I heard a white lady say once that her father was in a funk. I found out later that that meant depressed. I guess funk is universal, maybe somewhere there is a Chinese guy telling his friends how funky something is in a whole different language. Dam I guess that just proves that funk do what it do and is global in its funkiness. I guess George Clinton was right, when he said he’d funk the world.

Darius Harris Blackmansdiary.


Find out anything about anybody, forever.