Dam I mis huslin. Husla withdrawal symptoms.

I hate to say it, but i would be a lyer if i diddnt say it. I mean after doing that all my life, being regular is like slow lingering death. I am proud of myself though, i mean its like alchoholism, everyday, one day at a time. I hear the streets calling every day, and the summer is killing me. I see big rims and women and big spenders and i say to myself, one phone call and all this broke, lonely chit goes away. I never call though and thats what i am proud of. I know that my little blog and computer repair thing will grow if i keep it interesting. And so many people have donated a dollar or two this month, that i actually bought advertising and helped a good many of my ghettomates with good cheap pc reairing. thanks yall for making that possible. So if there is anyone who has been through this give me an email and tell me about it. Cause i think i really am having husla withdrawal symptoms.

Are Cole off martin lawrence show and Musiq Soul-child the same Dude?

Everytime i say this, people get it. I swear that these are the same two people. Tell me what you think. I think it is cool that he got rich after martin. I never knew cole could sing. I hope big (whats her name, his woman from martin) is proud.

You are mistaken MR. mensmanual.blogspot.com

I got mentioned in another blog called the mens manual, and i need to say a few things about him saying i am weak for my writing styles. Actually called me a victim. I am not a victim, being a victim implies said thing is over. And all my readers know i am just starting. I chose my life position, You have to pass 1, 2 ,3 and the rest to get to ten. I was at ten, I wanted ten on a different scale. (hearMEnah)


And as far as my girl not respecting me and me not respecting myself, that just shows your stupidity/ignorance (pick whichever doesnt make you whine) I place my truthful feelings on my blog. "When i say i fear my woman is losing respect for me" why do you hear "my woman is losing respect for me". The problem is in you. I am sharing my inner feelings, not what i show the world. I have always said what i meant and meant what i said. I quit what allot of men want. What some call success i walked away from. And if you don't care what your woman says, feels, thinks, wants, likes or dislikes, you arent really a man. I am a man, I am a man with power enough to show feelings and weaknesses. Some men are scared of homosexuals? You are who you are, no matter what you display outwardly. So i say to you, a little more honesty and a lot less chest puffing would make your blog better.

And remember, my whole life was spent husling in the streets of milwaukee, I walked away. I walked away and made a vow to never again accept money from a woman. Never to accept money from drugs, and never to accept money from many other illegal and immoral activities. And then remember that these are all things YOU only dream about. I am by far the better man, so please keep my name and blogs name out of your mouth until you read mine in entirety. And being proven wrong is to be celebrated. Because that means if you are smart it will never happen again concerning the same thing. And even though the comment was kinda (worth fighting in real life over,) my manhood is not in question. And my woman has nothing to do with my manhood. My blog is about my struggle to let go of my ghetto living, bullet taking, woman using past and become productive, and how i feel daily trying. You should applaud that, Pardna. And thanks for the mention on your blog.

Blurry self Portrait

Nobody to take me pic so i improvised. This is for all the people who wanted a picture. I tried my best.

Little memo: Please read!

This is a strange post, I am busy today. so I am asking my visitors to view my trafficswarm page and click a link. That helps me get traffic. So if you like my posts and have a few free seconds Click here to give me a few extra points. Thanks.

My Girl Thinks I am Cheating. Ummm....Can she not see that i am a bum right now?

Omg! I had the weirdest week in a while. I am sure you have seen my Pre-Package posts this last week. Yea, i know they were good, I just wasnt all the way there. I did ad a new kinda feed (one i hope you guys signup for, its kinda foul sitting there on "0". I have a feed but the server they use is down? Any way my girl thinks i am cheating on her. I cant understand why she cant see that i am a bum at this moment. But even though i cant see me even attracting a woman let alone another one, not right now.

Long story short, i come in the house 8 o'clock at night, and she's all cold shoulderish. I say hey, she says hey, I'm off to the computer. But later that night she attacked me, sexed me crazy. I always wonder why women say they are gonna tear us up, when even the worst dudes do all the work, almost anyway. Nother day. She actually almost killed me. As oppossed to the take each other for granted long term relationship sex. I know, shes screwing around and trying to cover. I would say yes, if nothing in my life had changed. But it had, so i think this: I was staying in whenever i wasnt doing my handy-man thing (Handy man thing: fix anything for money unemployed guy thing) I mean if i didnt have a computer or car to fix, i was in the house. No Money thing.

Well I got a few donations from the site and added it to the husle money, and i made some PCrepair flyers and a few signs. I have been gone from home more than i have been in a year. So with that said, i think she thinks i am cheating. I never even saw it comming. I actually feel like a man again, i havent gotten a bite on the flyers yet, but i will, my plan is fanastic. But, I actually need you guys to give me some advice about both situations.

1. The "think I am cheating coverup thing"

2. The "what should I do next towards Making My Own Dam Job!!!!! thing."

I have made and distributed crude flyers. (I picked the Chicken Places around my ghetto". If any white people reading this dont know, whatever you here, Us black folks love us some chicken, Don't let nobody tell you different. After the flyers i thought i would buy a 1/4 page ad in the citywide free tv guide booklet thing. There are no other PC Repair shops in the ghetto part of the city, so i have a wide open shot.

I need a few comments on advice for both situations, and thanks allot for reading my blog, I still cant beleive the response i have gotten.

Men VS Women. WHo's smarter? Great Jokey Joke.

never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.”

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all
dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?”

I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either… but at least now she knows I’m smarter than her.

"Is anything ever simple Father?" asked the boy. "Not when women are involved", said the father.

"Is anything ever simple sather?" asked the boy. "Not when women are involved", said the father.

I am blessed that i was raised by strong black women. I am blessed because they all wanted to build me, into a Good Man. My mother, grandmother (who raised me) my Great-Aunt, my Aunts, Older cousins and step mothers/Live in father girlfriends, all taught me things, the others diddnt know, i guess. They gave me the regular Lady to Boy bits of information surely, but each one in her turn also gave me a piece of information no woman has since.

One of my step-mothers, who i loved as a real mother, now enemies with my father, but still in love. She had four girls age 6-13, they became my sisters, even though the two oldest had crushes on me. I never noticed or blocked it in my brain. My current girl-friend knew 5 minutes after meeting her, and hated her politely. I always denied it, at least until i thought to write this, and fess up. I think they did. Now.

Anyway my step-mother Gave me these little Pimp tips. She gave me allot of other regular tips, but i am a man who grew from amanish little smoother, so i just remember these. She wanted a boy, you see, but she was beyond having another baby now she felt. She treated me like the son she always wanted.

so these are the ones i remember.

1. Always be you. If you don,t like you, change it, start now. Be your woman's Man, no motter what you think. Be understanding to her needs, when women want their man, their girl-friends won't do. Don't lie. Don't lie repeated. Be the strong one when she weakens, and be aware for those times.

2. Wrap a woman in your arms when you hold her close. Don't lie. And if you think you are gonna like a woman, Don't rush to sex with her. And only occasionally comment/compliment her best feature. Instead find what she is shy about: Hips, Face, scars...whatever, and put her at ease with it. But if you make her wait, make sure you are worth it.

3. Don't let it go to your head. And keep your word, but give it less often. and think before you do.

I know this is some strange stuff to write about, but it is a blog, for lords sake.
I just go back sometimes and wonder what made me end up how i did. I am smart (175IQ)
But some how i ended up husling and fathering and using women, no matter how gently.
I read too much all the time, always have. But some kinda way i ended up being a baller shot caller, but not for a fortune 500 corporation, but in the ghetto. I had to know that was wrong, and i had to see it comming, i guess time just got away from me.

That was my weakness, I procrastinated and put off, i always thought too much and acted not enough.
I don't know, i get good at mostly everything i do, i just tire easily. I actually may keep this computer thing up, i love it.

But the reason this post had to be written, by me and for me is... I sometimes am ashamed of myself for letting all those wonderful role models down, by not even trying...cause i would have won.

But you know what? I am gonna make it as a regular dood (and not shadow ghetto husla) and i am gonna blend in instead of set off, and life will be better than it ever was. peace readers.

Ghetto Life P.O.W Survivor's Story.

Now before all you conventional war veterans rip me a new one, hear me out first.

I am a ghetto life P.O.W survivor. I may not be one in the conventional sense of P.O.W, but i am a survivor. I have thought this through and have come to the decision that ghetto life presents the same kind of environment as prison and war. Ghetto life can make all the things present in both those situations part of existence in the modern ghetto.

Example: In some neighborhoods you actively have to choose an affiliation with one of the "gangs in the area". Some think this is a myth, they think that you can say no to the advances, like it was a dope commercial. Dope commercials don't shoot you. It is also a fact that the Gaurds (Police) can do whatever they want to you, and get away with it. Just like in prison, just because of where you are and your skin color, you are already Guilty. Poverty is suspected, black is suspected, how can we look anything but suspitious to outsiders? Add that to the fact that we often climb the tree to see the lightning better. If we don't know we still keep going. Side effect of our situation. The ghetto mutates fear and you can't allow yourself to acknowledge it, or it consumes.

Yea, I am a survivor. I walk through killing fields, just like soldiers.
Yes, I have to been indoors by lights out, to get my good time allowance.
Yes, I am subject to questioning, search and imprisonment, at the whim of the gaurds.
yes, I run the risk of personal attack..
Yes, I will be punished by the "system" if I defend myself

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck.......

Until recently,I have always did what others would consider illegal to survive. I am not in the greater sense of things proud of this. But where i live, these things, selling weed, selling bootleg music, selling knock off clothes, are just not as illegal to those who see it every minute of every day, So from that perspective no shame is needed, non expected. Even if you dont smoke weed, you live in the ghetto, you know you could easily find it if you started.



And your friends and and aquaintances would more than likely be criminals, Its hard to avoid being one, in one sense or the other. Maybe not Hardened criminals, but oweing the government some part of themselves, Child support, traffic tickets, unpaid monies. Contrary to physics, in the ghetto it is harder to keep black clean than white. That sounds like different rules to me, to go against physics like that.

Now i am almost 40 and i am a changed man, I think? I get my days where i want to just go back to the life i knew, at least until i am no more, and in the modern ghetto, almost all death is random. (Some huslers, most huslers, call what i am doing, selling out. I am out the game, but still a target, you are either victor or victim here. But If i had more when i was criminal, and less walking straight, it seems more like i sold in). Or I can keep going, try to give myself therapy, and deal with the withdrawal symptoms that i have daily.

I Don't know beyond today, but for today I choose keep walking the straight and narrow and something will come my way. at least thats what i like to tell myself.

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Crowes aint ready! Old Women are the smartest people on earth.

I spend allot more time with my kids than i use to. Its not that i love them more or less than ever, it's because i feel so hurt for them that their world is going to hell in a hand-basket.

I remember my great-Aunt Ruby Lewis, She had a saying: Crowes ain't ready. I use to hear it whenever someone did something, ...Stupid, buts its more than that. It was saved for occasions of "black stupidity" The best example of this is a short story about aunt ruby.

We were all gathered around the television watching something (cant remember what) but it was one of the shows from the late 70's or 80's, one of those shows that existed then that every black person with a television made plans to watch (that never happens now, are we too busy or less together?) anyway the news break said that as a people we were not voting. My aunt just shook her head and said, "crowes ain't ready!" I took this chance to finally ask her, what that meant?

What she told me was that she felt us black folks sometimes act like long term abused wives after their husbands die. I asked what that meant, because i was little i aint have a clue about that or the other thing. She said, "allot of times when a woman has an abusive husband for a long time, after he's gone, they tend to act like the preachers children." I diddnt get that then either, but i let her continue. She continued, "they have so many rules and stipulations attached to everything the do that once they get free, they more than likely act the fool."

I get emails and i guess i will get allot for this too, but i think she was wise beyond her time and was completly correct. She also told me that night that she wanted to be around at the end of the world. I didnt particully, so i asked her why? and she looked me in the eyes and told me simply, "I want to help to save those on the fence". How could a kid know she was talking to the future me? I love you aunt ruby and i hope you are happy.

And to all the adults and kids reading this, "Try to simplify your life and look beyond the day to day struggle to the big picture." With all the wars and radical racial issues present everywhere on earth, with all the "new" drugs and illnesses under the sun, (GOD said nothing new under the sun, so if you are a christian you have to see that this isnt new but uncovered, and Too much knowledge is as bad or worst than too little. Just like oil in a car.) So take time and spend it with your loved ones, because more than ever before, tomorrow is not promised. peace readers.

Nigga Please!!! Birth of a ghetto anthem.

Nigga Please. Thats one of those sayings that just fit. Its kinda like $hit or Gawddammit. it just sums up your feelings perfectly. But nigga please, is just so funny to me. I actually still hear people saying it. And it spreads the spectrum, people from 8 to 80. Its kinda like, You Crazy. It expresses doubt in what the other person is saying.

I mean you don't really hear white people saying it, But if you did that would be so dam funny. Can you imagine talking to a white guy at work or in the local home depot and that comming up?
It would be like: "Hey jim, Are you gonna go home and finish the gazebo today?" And jim (who's white) would be like, "Nigga Please! I'm going home and watch the game." I would die on the spot. Some people would want to fight him and stuff, but me i would just die laughing, digging for my asthma pump the whole time.

Thats almost as funny as when my ex girl-friend told this guy to "suck her male member". some stuff is just so wierd its funny.

Another one is the world famous, "its a black thang, you wouldnt understand" Its a great line, but what the hell is the thing? Nobody ever told me, but i still wore the T-shirts. I don't know why i wrote this post, boredom i guess, but its funny as _ell to me.

Get free Google Earth before it starts costing.

Birth control pill for men Vs Viagra for women. (R) rated. Live Stand-up

Just wanted to make you laugh. Pretty funny video about birth control for men comedy routine.

The ghetto Dear Abbey. Ask Shadow Eternal. Honest answers to honest Questions.

Yea, it looks strange to me too. But a number of people have asked my advice (thats even stranger) on things, i guess because of my posts. I get a good number of racial question too. I have decide to answer them on the blog instead of in emails, i may even start a new blog just for this purpose. I figure if i get it right i get donations. Yay!!!! But if not i can't unwrite the answers so....if you have a question, go into my profile and email me. that simple. So let me start with this question sent in by a viewer.

Q: Is it disrespectful of me to have "girlie mags" if i have a girl-friend? And is it even more disrespectful to hide this from her? Cause she found my stash and was very upset.

A: That is a question and a half, but this is how i see it. No!! I have heard of women that have been hurt by finding girlie magazines in their boy-friend or lovers homes and apartments. But usually it has to do with secrecy rather than ownership. What i am saying is usually it is far more hurtful to the women that the man was secretive, more than that they had the magazines. I could get a scientifical and start vomiting gobbledeegook but i wont, i'll tell it straight.

I can't see the use of them personally if your girl-friend knows. If she knows then you have to worry about her going through them and finding a worn page, and deducing from that, that that is the type of woman you want. And if it doesnt resemble her...awww dam. But on the other hand i have seen women who want to share that part of their boyfriends, so it is a hard nut to crack (pun intended).

I'll leave my answer to the main question as no, because the women could be real and that would be so much worst.

But... I always felt that a great union came when: I had my life, She had hers, and then we had ours. And never stepping over the boundries of these without invitation.
I also know that when someone is invading your privacy in a relationship, barring mental instability, it is ussually because they truly believe the other is lying.
Allot of us have had people they loved tell them they were faithful, while every bone in your body SCREAMED they werent. That can make you crazy. And no one ever thinks about this aspect of it. So in short i think it is up to every individual relationship whether it is best to tell your mate about your secret stash of girlie mags. And i have been down that road so i think i have authority to say: Plenty of the time the books have something to do with the individual reading them. And they do hurt the relationship. Becuase sooner or later your sex life is gonna pale in comparison to pornography, and then you wont be as into your mate. I mean the porn people have stars and research and all kinda science behind getting you...for lack of a better word "Horny" and allot of that stuff only a whore would know. So if your wife is not a whore, she may lose your interest. Thats just me talking, I hope i helped. And if i did....slide me a peso or two.

Pay a dollar and ask Black Dear abbey a question. Question may be posted so please indicate if "privacy is wanted". At the payment window, enter your question and answer will be emailed to payment email. ("serious inquiries only please!")

For those viewing this from a Traffic Exchange, and others too.

Because I am not by nature a beggar but have been for this site, I have been working on
a masterpiece solution for us. I have taken, over time small amounts of money and bought and bartered for website promotion software, all with resell rights. I have pyt them all together in a bundle, even i would buy. I never sell anything on this blog, but this offer is from one of my other "Traffic Related" blogs, and fits into this one only in the sense that this blog is
on rotation on a few Major Traffic Exchanges. This blog in for entertainment, and it is not entertaining when someone is constantly hawking crap. But this is a everybody great deal, i had to mention. It won't come up again. I call it the best $2 Bundle ever!! its dowm after the post in a link. But here is a list of all the stuff i bundled and am Hawking on my other blog.

*2500 of the top adsense and yahoo keywords (low and high)
*Ebay (the inside story)
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*fly by ads
*Hot item lister
*Beginners guide to adsense, And some more all for $2.

I know, but i love youse guys. It really sounds to good to be true, and on the internet that is 99% the case, But this honestly is true. So click the link below or here, and go see it. If it interests you, well then i can offer you a service instead of begging.....Thanks for allowing me to do this. Back to regular in 4...3...2....1

Gave my last $2 and change to a fricken kid.

You know how i am at my worst right now, right? Well this morning i woke up with $17.39, so i figured id go get gas. You have to have gas, and the car is a family car, so i had to use my money from yesterdays work (fixex my cousins printer and monitor..$20 bucks. Discount family deals...priceless) Anyoleways I had 17.39 left this morning. I go to get gas, figured i'd get $15.00 and keep the rest for a soda and chips. Don't really need em, but you hate to be flat broke. I pull in, and there is this kid by the pump, its like 88 degrees, and he asked could he pump my gas for some change. I am thinking "dam kid i need to work for you" cause im silly sometimes. But i have learned from life in the ghetto that a kid pumping gas in the morning usually has a dopefiend momma who did not come home. And to boot they usually are husling for their lil brothers and sisters. So what could i do? I got $15 and gave hime the change. I am so a sucker, but it kinda broke my heart and it made me remember the down side to my old job. The kid could be out there robbing and stealing or selling drugs for money. It sucks pumping gas, but its better than drugs and he still has some pride and decency left.....thats worth $2.39 anyday. If i had more i would have tried to save him, but he was holding his own like a little soldier...i respect that. And he looked at me like i was a baller or big-shot. I told him i use to be and am glad i aint no more, and i wished i would of sucked up all the school i could have. cause thats the smart ID real money wants to see before they let you in the club. He looked at me strange but i think he caught it. I hope so. peace yalll

My first simulcast. 12 year old drummer solo. On 2 of my blogs.

I'm unemployed. Thats means i have nothing to do. At least to my girl/wife.

20th of july. So far this month I have painted and repaired both porches on the house. Fixed 8 Computers for a store that rewarded me with furniture for my house (our) house. Unclogged the main sewer leaving our house, replaced toilet and basin in bathroom, Put new timing chain in the car and repaired the motor in our houses air conditioning unit. I am not even including the kids doctor and dentist appointments, House-cleaning, cooking and shopping that i do daily on top of my daily blogs and websites upkeep. i dont understand why i should have to feel "on-call" always. I am not complaining, It is my pleasure to contribute how i can. I just want them to count towards something. I work my butt off doing odd crap to save for a ad in the towns redbook (advertisers) and buy flyers and signs. I am almost there. I always want to go back to husling (drugs) but i always say to myself, you have come to far, might as well see what karma brings. I hope it hurries.

Also this month i have taken jobs that i have scrounged out, and others my wife/girl has scrounged for me also, It is the 20th of the month. I have installed 3 printers and 2 dsl/cable hookups, a extra phone line and 1windowsxp and a office 2000. I have fixed a lawnmower and shampooed a set of funiture. I never know what to charge her friends, who she expects me to get done with the day she mentions it, I have no job you see, thus meaning, I have nothing to do. And the worst part is, she really believes that. I am not complaining, but that big list is not nothing to do.

I mean even after 14 hours power auging out the basement sewer to recover many things that clogg it, I was up the next day "ashamed' to sleep in. My god lady it was 100 degrees while i slaved, i need rest for my lazy unemployed butt. This is getting to be more work than an actual job. I really want a end at 5 job, i cant take many more favors, that suck but i still owe for. I mean is it really doing me a favor by having me spend 4 hours repairing one of your workmates computer for $25 bucks? Try $90 an hour down-town. But to avoid the unemployment arguement (an argument that has to have contributed solidly to the prison population problem of blackmen in our country), I choose instead to do the work. I mean even for pimps and celebrities, 3 hours work beats 2 weeks of sly remarks, cold shoulders and sometimes outright hostility. At least three hours of work ends in three hours.

I don't know about all races of women, but black women want whatever you tell them they cant have. Example: I am unemployed, so i have no right to play games, ever.
What kinda crap is that? I hate to admit it, but women i treated bad always gave me the least trouble. While the ones i have tried to respect and treat like an equal always had some sort of problem with me. This is coo-koo, as i am sure i will be shortly. I don't want to argue about my insufficienties in front of my kids, they actually like me. And you may or may not know That black women get loud when they argue. Very loud and in the least expected places in the argument. Oh yea allot of them dont beleive in debate (like santa klause or the boogie man) its only argue-no argue. And then i still have to do the 45 minute minimum sex thing we are use to or i am cheating. But that should be no problem because i have nothing to do, being unemployed and all. I guess i should go finish her boss/girlfriends car detailing now, dam being lazy is hard work whem you are Darius the broke milwaukee screwup. And if you are a rich guy reading my blog....For the love of god please help me....i need advertising for my pc repair. thanks. And tell a friend about this site, visitors lead to chances someone donates or sees my writing(s) and likes them enough to give me a 3 bit job.

Rules that guys wished women knew about.

These are from K's Journal. But i felt they were funny (and true) enough to share.
And K the i hot linked back to your site. Think about doing the same to one of mine.

1. Crying is blackmail.
2. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.
4. Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Get rid of your cat.
6. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in anargument..
7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
8. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neitherdo we.
9. You have too many shoes.
10. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t askus.
11. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it’s up put it down.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeingfrom point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. Seea doctor.
16. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Sunday = Sports
18. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls,don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, andone of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can weknow how pretty you are?
21. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to comeout.
22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how youwant it done-not both.
23. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses losetheir right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
24. You have enough clothes.
25. Nothing says “I love you” like sex.

RULES, RULES, RULES! Dont ever say sorry for being true to yourself. it shows who really you are. Face it! In a relationship, girls want to be cuddled. Many of women i know want to be the center of the relationship. They want to feel everydayday that they are loved. Whenever their boyfriend calls them they always want to hear the word “i love you”.

There is nothing wrong with this attitude but somehow men are choked by the things their girlfriend demands them. For example, he should call them at least once a day. If he forgets to call, there will be slight problem there. He should never forget events such as the time she accepted him as her boyfriend or they termed it as their “anniversary”. If he somehow forgets the date by not remembering to call or to give gift to her, there will be problem. He should remember her birthday. He should also have to like the basketball team she likes or her favorite color. And if somehow you forget it and you have given her gift which color she hated, then you will have problem there.

Maintaining good relationship should, i think, be coupled with perseverance and sacrifice.

If you really love the woman and want her to be with you ever after then it is a must for you men to know what the girl really wants and you should tell her what you also want. Keyword is : ” Conversation ” its one of the most important thing in a relationship.

Ain't this picture a white version of the one on good times? Dynomite!!!

I saw this picture while i was "next blogging" to get visitors. I saw it and it was kinda funny to me, so of course i stole it and put it here with a funny title. I hot-linked it to the original blog (about writing) So blogmaster dont get mad, think of it as a really big link, So you owe me a linkback. And even if you dont agree this is that picture from good-times white cousin from talihasee.

Rap i wrote one day. Ghetto stole my soul. Hate rap? Fake like its a poem, Mr/Mrs. closedmind

Click image for business plan.
I wrote this song one day when i was fed up with my whole lifestyle. It was inspired by the kids of men i grew up with, doing the same thing their fathers did in the ghetto in their time. Its like nothing ever changes in the ghetto, only survives or dies, and adjusts for that. The kids today are the kids of yesterday, only with new heads. Notice i diddnt say future. Anyway here is the song, Feel privledged cause no one ever hears my songs or poetry, though i could easily be great at it. If you like ("beg") hint hint. (i still hate that, a beggar with pride stays hungry, im starved.)

The Ghetto Stole My Soul.

My mine is spinning from that alize, alize. The bud completely takes my breath away, breath away. My moneys funny but i just cant laugh, just cant laugh. The things i got aint what i'm spose to have, spose to have. Mu brother tripping, should i rob that trick, rob that trick? Maybe the ghetto making me commit, me commit. These haneous crimes on my fellow man, fellow man. But what the f#ck aint got no other plan, other plan. (I aint got no feelings guess the ghetto stole my soul) But still i roll, blunted up through the crazy streets of brew, I'm out for my ends, and ready to kill if i have to.
So Brotha best back up on off me, I spill your blood like morning coffee. Its to survive is how i figure, So what the f#ck i pull the trigger.

(chorus)
I anit got no feelings guess the ghetto stole my sole. Walking through this f#ucked up world done broke my hold on my control. How are we supposed to make it? How can we see this through? I get oh so tired of huslin, but what the f#uck else can i do?, I do..... (v2)

Do what i want to, think what i want to thought. Spent most of my time growing up in and out of court. The other times i spent in jail, and the time in between spent raising bail, i could tell that the streets diddnt love me, so i loved myself. Caught a bank offa luck, bought crack and sought wealth. Now I'm...stacking crazy ends...but for that i'll probly have to kill a friend, but then...(I dont got no feelings guess the ghetto stole my soul) Now i control......every spot in my f#cking nieghborhood. In 6 months i went from being broke to living good. Now my ball is always on the roll, fiends knocking down my door. Got to buy my kids some clothes, this was was i hustled for. I hustled hard got what i wanted. And issue slugs to my oponents.

(repeat chorus)

Did i mention that i was skilled in songwriting? I have a few hundred songs, just never had loot to studio. and i couldnt take thhe life. I like women too much. My girl, my family, would have never had a chance. At least i thought. Aint i a good guy? Stupid idiot is what i meant. I'll share a less violent/depressing one with you one day.

Ebonics word (s) of the day. Finna.

I am adding ebonics words to my posts weekly as a helpful tool to those who don't already know them. Todays word is finna.

Finna: verb, It means the same as going to, as in: I going to make a cake today. Sometimes said like fixin to make me a cake today.

Sto: Noun, It means store.

Fixin'na or fixin'to: Verb, See finna

That concludes Ebonics 101 for the day. Holla! (i'll explain that next time.)

Some women won't let a man be a man. And learned it from another.

My girl is a wonderful women! My girl is also a terrible girl-friend. I say that with the greatest love and respect, She takes care of me fine but when i need a friend, that aint her strong point. I use to think that i could tell my girl/wife anything because she was my best friend, i have figured out that that is not true with some women. I always tell the truth, but the truth is sometimes hard.

My girlfriend is always poised somewhere between get set and go, Her anger has no middle. Same amount of anger for slutting off as not mowing grass, thats not normal. but when you have no others to compare (good man no cheat) you may not know that. Where most women and men have three steps to anger, some have two. Instead of calm, gaurded and then anger, calm and gaurded are woven together. I mean to say if her man comes in in a huffy mood for whatever reason, if it makes it to her there will be a fight. No middle, no calming words, no getting his way, no sorry i was in a bad mood. To put it simply, momma don't take no mess.

There are times when a man vents, everyone does. But when your woman is insecure all vents are searched and disected to find any grain that can be taken as a personal assault on them (the woman) personally. If you say You in a genaral sense, it reaches their ears in a personal sense. After a while you get use to it, but it slowly kills a part of you. Once that part of you dies, you will do aanything to avoid conflict with the woman. And not too long after that the woman expects victory at every turn, actively seeks it. The man throws the towel in on every fight and the woman has no limit to how far she will go to keep it this way. I guesss its just human nature.
And once the man is ruined, which he will be sooner than later. The only way to get his manhood back is through another woman as sad as that sounds. Those are the men that cheat regularly. It is very hard for most men to perform sexually from a submissive vantage point. And the craziest part is the women that are like that are usually made that way by good sex, or trying to hold onto good sex.

Now i aint saying i am in that position because i still have some fight in me, but i see it comming because i am unemployed and slowly losing myself to sorrow. of course i will fix this before it comes only because i know it is comming.

I just wanted to warn you ladies and men that todays role reversals cut allot deeper than it appears on the surface. If you find yourself in a relationship where you do the vast majority of the apologizing or when you are angry your mate doesnt make you fell better and/or gets mad to match, well then you are headed for disaster on a scale beyond comprehension. Losing someone you love, anyone you love no matter how much you love them, just doesnt hold a candle to losing yourself. Keep that in mind.

Oh yea.... when starting a relationship...the first one in love will be the weakest link in the relationship as far as control goes. And one more tip, It doesnt matter what a person thinks of you as long as they think of you is the ticket to the previous tip. If a man and a woman date and then go to seperate homes , the one who thinks about the other the most will be the one relinquishing control, just human nature. And i havent forgot to write about the second time i died, just need a little more time to wrap my head around doing it. thanks yall for all the donations. I feel like there is something i can do well again after a very bad time in my life.

Stacy Dash 40 years old and in playboy (pics) stacy dash looks good.

I don't really have an oppinion, but i figured some would want to see pictures. They are here.

But lets get off of older naked women for a minute....Even though stacy dash does look great at any age.

Dont stay a lousy lay. Read this and you will thank me.

Background checks from the website or your newer model cell phone. $10 a year unlimited access. We are the best online background check people you'll find.

The Language of Love. Translated.

Anybody in a long term relationship will understand this post. Those not won't but will still find it entertaining (at least i hope). This is a small list of things girlfriends and wives say, that need translation for the newly relationshipped.

Every so often my girl will say something that seems innocent enough on the hearing of it but means something totally different to the man in their lives.

1. "is it hot in here to you" Sounds like a regular question but on further inspection means, "get your butt up and go check the themometer" Or "get your butt up and go get me something to drink".

2. "I wonder did i lock the doors." That actually means, get your butt up and check that the house is secure for the night.

3. "have you seen the keys" of course translates to, go find the keys for me.

4. are you hungry of course means she is hungry.


There are many of these little language barriers in a fulltime relationship, and each relationship has their own little personal ones, ones unique to that relationship. Like in mine upset, angry and mad are aparently completly different things, in 20+ years i have yet to get it right, if i say shes mad, she was inevitably one of the other choices. while Some are universal and apply to all others are personal. Just as "have you seen the dog/cat/child?" actually means, get your butt up and go look for said object. Just as "are you finished blank?" ussually means, start doing what i asked you to do when you told me you were doing something else. Just as did you hear that noise the car is making, usually means go fix the car.

I feel it is my duty to tell the younger newer relationshipped about these minor language adjustments, in an effort to save time and trouble in the future.

Just like when your girl asks you if you want to go to the store with her really means, "I have bags that take a man to carry so get up and come with me to carry said bags". Sometimes it even extends to their network of friends. Like your significant other may say, "Karen wants to know how to install her new printer", Which of course translates to come with me to karens house and install her new printer, while we talk and watch you or leave you with here kids and go shopping.

I dont know how long it takes to learn the bulk of these strange dialectual oddities, all i know is the lessons never end, And it is possible to mis read the language easily. One time my girl told me a carload of guys were following her friend and had followed her home. I misuderstood that to mean, get up and go see about my friend because you are a man. Only when i returned did i understand that it actually meant, you must like my friend to go and drive there to protect her. I dont have to explain that mix up cost me dearly for a week. I will leave you to figure out the rest on your own. But remember to be very careful because the language seems to change weekly. Good Day.

Dying changes a man. Dying twice makes a man wanna change.

The title of this article is truer than most will ever realize. I have died and been ressurected twice in the last ten years.

The first was unexpected and made me appreciate life.

The second wasnt and made me appreciate GOD and others.



The death and revival process is something i wish everyone could experiance for themselves, not the pain but the after-effects. It was a long drawn out process, the act of trying to understand what the actual changes were. The actual dying was not as i have heard others say. There was no white light or hovering over rescue workers as they tried to revive me. The was only the feeling that some how i had been cut off and restarted, to me the time between death and returning to life was instantaneous, to others it was a very difficult 3 hours. But i feel i need to explain further, Probably from the beginning would be best.

The first time I cursed god, I hadnt breathed in almost 6 minutes and I had pee'd my pants 3 minutes into it. I have to say i had done things others would consider terrible if not worst. I can blame it on the ghetto environment, but i won't. I now understand that the ghetto environment goes no further than my outer epidermus, but i diddnt know that then, so i got caught up in it. Eye for an eye and all that. Four minutes into it my bowels released. For some reason this made me more angry than anything ever in my life, including the death of my favorite aunt. I caught the doo-doo (for lack of a better word) in my hands (I was naked by that time, heat or something? made me strip) I hurled it at the wall and cursed god for allowing me to die like this, i was anxious to meet him, aching for a fight with the creator, can you imagine?. I was never afraid of death, many had gone before me, so what was the big deal. My exact words were i beleive, "How can you let me go out like this, after all i have been through?" No reply, at least i thought at the time. I lasted cursing and snarling, while my wife cried and screamed, for another 2 minutes, tearing down a ceiling fan durring that time. Pain is a blukka blukka.

I have to go into pre-events for this story to be fully understood. Prior to this a lady who my uncle went with when i was young, saw me in the emergency hospital with my girlfriend and told me she had been seeking me for years, to give me a message from GOD. That message was that he had been protecting me and mine from harm for my whole life, because i ws special. She went on to say that that umbrella was being lifted and i had to choose soon. I had always seen myself as on a fence, able to go to either side and safely make it back to home base. Evil could not touch me. I had also made me peace or so i thought with god and the other one. I explained to god as a child that there were 5 billion religions and if i had to pick the right one or go to hell, well then I diddnt want to play, he could pick for me. I have always been very religious, talking to god as a friend would, no knees and folded hands for yours truly. And as for that other fella, well he understood that i had no fear of him either, my thinking was if, he took the time to personally come and threaten me, well he would show himself and i would KNOW and thus be entitled to heaven, by his actions. Life was easy. To end this side bar, 2 weeks after she told me this in the emergency room, i was shot comming from work and in a way that couldnt be denied. I had been shot at many times and escaped in impossible ways, god was always with me. Long story short the bullet hit me up under my outstretched arm in the side of my chest, parrelel. I should have been dead. But...... The bullet bounced off (of nothing) and exited my shirt sleeve (long) setting my shirt on fire. Impossible. I diddnt heed the warning. And this was not one of the deaths i write about .

After i tore down the fan i set down a bit and sat to wait for the ambulance. I could see my son outside in his draws waiting also. That made me smile, and i ceased to fight death. I awoke sitting up some time later in I.C.U. dead for 11 minutes. But that is only the beginning. Exactly a year after being shot, i had a dream that i couldnt move (this story has tears in my eyes even now) My girl was next to me but i coulnt move to wake her. I could see the room crystal clear. (later like 9 years, this year I figured that the closet light was in the wrong corner of the room, only thing identifying it as a dream) In the dream that i didnt know/feel/think was a dream, a man in scuba gear like G.I Joe came and smothered me, i fought and fought, woke when i gave up fighting, I sat up in that instant awake alive. This is so scary/touching/weird because later when i died the first time, it went the same exact way. asthma killed me, smothered. I fought and fought, and sat up in I.C.U at the exact instant i stopped fighting. Weird!!!! x a billion. Life went on and i am hard headed, that changed me to a level i could not even begin to understand or even comprehend, as i said i have/had? a hard head.

The second time was even strabger and i will write about that tomorrow or the next day. I can't tell the whole story, i will start crying like a little girl, i truly am special and touched and i really do have a mission. It took me ten years of finding myself to figure out what it was. Oh yea and i cam full circle, i wasnt lost, i was always me, GOD just wanted me to notice. I did. But i will tell the 2nd time dying story tomorrow? It's a whole lot harder to tell than the first time, remember i said i was hard-headed? You only know the half. See ya tomorrow. And god bless. And i dont feel like brilliant begging right now so do/don't the donate button is clearly marked. Thanks and return because i have to get this story out to go on to my next level of understanding. And the only thing stopping you is you, Born lone, die alone. Please understand that, and life will change a measure.
90 Minutes in Heaven: A True Story of Death & Life

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Unpublished Tupac ghetto gospel video (featuring elton john)

Happy i found this one. Tupac ghetto gospel video, ghetto gospel video from tupac

No worst hell than unemployment when your woman has a job! If your mother in law lives with you.

The title tells it all. If I was mexican, I'd be headed for america. If i was white and rich, I'd be heading for mexico. But since I am poor and black, I'll chalk it up to part of the messed up routine of blacks here. Hell This is hell, but it aint much different than any other day. I gotta find a job, bad. I find them, but they are always $7 an hour jobs that seem a joke when i go home and see the car and house and four kids (11-twins 17, son 23 in school) how the hell can that help. But i am always thankful for whatever work i can get, what with my 20 year old felony.

I think this situation is slowly killing me. I can't look my girl or mother in law in the face. I usually wake up and hide in my little home made office and peck out articles for my blog, hoping for donations or a chech from advertisers. As soon as i can nail down a few hundred dollars, then i will put up signs around the city to fix computers, something i am good at, something i cant prove good enough to get a job doing it.

It's days like these (and for the last year all the days are the same) on days like these i thank god i am black, because any other race would more than likely kill themselves. But black aint never without problems. so i take it in stride, and hope the work i do today pays off tomorrow. It might. I feel like less of a man, and i always hear the streets calling, telling me how stupid i am to starve to death, while there is all kinds of money outside in the streets. Money i swore i would never try for agian. But i have to admit, it is getting harder and harder to resist. I see old friends and enemies alike, and i am sure they say"dam, he must be smoking crack, look at his shoes". Well i am not smoking crack, i am just trying to survive without the selling of drugs, which is hard when it has been the only real job you ever had that paid. Oh well, gotta try new things or die. Don't know if the dying part would be so bad. I live in a poormans groundhog day. The same poor, the same uselessness, the same girl friend paying all the bills ass day, everyday.

But today is the dsl deadline, and i cant get up the fortitude to ask anyone for help, so i guess i will be offline for a few days till i find the 60+ dollars to pay them off. But i will go to friends houses and keep my website going. my blogs will be alright. I really should not have hosted my sites with the dsl provide, those go off with the phone, but the godaddy ones stay on. I really hate sbcyahoo. Thanks folks and i will see you tomorrow or a little later.

The reason i made this blog..

People email me and tell me how much they like this bloog, but can't figure out the reason for it. Well I shall end the curiosity. I made this blog to raise money (through ads and donations) to buy flyers and signs to start my Discount (ghetto) Pc Repair business. I noticed how many homes in the ghetto have broken computers, but the owners have no money to fix them.

Also to save towards publishing my book.

I try to make the stories of my existence funny and entertaining, to keep people returning to see what the fool (me) who runs the blog has gotten himself into everyday.
I also want to thank the few people who donated. Well that is the reason behind "poor milwaukee screwup" and i hope you enjoy the stuff i pen here. Hope that answers the questions. You the reader keep me off the streets of milwaukee, and have made me see that ghetto life is not the normal, but the extreme. Thank you.

Black women Might cuss you out plenty, But they got your back like no other.

Black women cuss you out everyday in relationships, white women hold it all in and send you to jail at the end. I want a little a day. Bless black women, fairest, finest, sexiest women god made.

My girl has been cussing me out since we met dam near. I hated it, I wished she would stop and i told her, she never did though. I got older and figured out that she was right. All the stuff she told me about myself was really true.

I wonder how long it takes for your woman to become your mother? Thats a crazy thing to say, but that doesnt make it any less true. If i would have paid attention to some of the things she said, i would not be in the position i am today, struggling, maybe. But one thing i know for dam sure, If my woman would have been white, she wouldnt be here still. Thats why i love my black women, cause they love my sorry ass right back.

So this post goes out to my sisters, the same sisters we do wrong and dont appreciate.

The same sisters who talk on the phone like its a second job. The same sisters who will pick they man over them same friends on the phone, without needing a minute to think about it. If it wasnt for black women, i would probly get 1/10 the support i get on this site. If it wasnt for black women i would have no donations. Cause us black men do not support each other, hell we barely support ourselves most times. Everybody aint a gangsta or husla, I was but i evolved. Broke as i am , i still think it was a step up from street life.

I live in milwaukee, and i think we have the strongest women on the planet (and some of the finest) Even stronger than the normal 10x strength black woman. My friends (who werent chit, just like my girl said, 10 years before it was cool) might call me soft for this post, but it has to be said. I want to thank you women for raising us men, feeding us men, supporting us men and taking up the slack that our oppressed/lazy asses don't. I want to thank you for making us feel strong even when deep inside we knew we were weak. I want to thank you women for more likely than not making us the big timers, when we are on top. And rebuilding us when we fall. I love each and every one of ya. Peace

Beverly hills and the ghetto are the same place. Best cars, Best clothes.

Those are the only two places in the world where appearance is everything. I mean in the ghetto the poorest people wear the most expensive designer clothes, the same in Beverly hills. In the ghetto you have to buy the most expensive car if you can, so your neighbors will say, "He must be rich, He that lives next door to us in the ghetto". The same in BH. I went to a refinancing place and noticed that the rich people were dressed in the more expensive clothes, and the ghetto folks were dressed in the same. All the middle were dressed in jeans and shirts, casual. What is it about extremes that make everything the same. If i get rich I'll let ya know. Cause I sure as hell got this poor thing down pat. peace.

Can't have a good marriage if you wife don't.

My father once said to me, "Boy, when you get grown you will find that some women wont let you be a man. I never knew what he was talking about until recently. Now let me say right off, I love my woman. I have been with her 65% of my life, so i could'nt really see myself without her. But lately i just can't see myself staying around.

Let me explain my situation. My girl is a RN for 2 very prosperous medical facilities, I on the other hand am a bum (1st time in my life) It is my fault, i admit that. I stopped selling dope and getting money from women, So i could give my kids something to look up too. Well it didnt work out how i planned. I never realized how much a part of me the streets were. I neglected to have a back up plan for what if i couldnt get a job. So now i am here at home in a house i own with my wife. In a state where i can't own anything because i am not legally married (together 34 years) and child support for the four children i have raised would take our house.

I look for work, i dont get it, i have a felony. I got the felony for driving too many times without license. I got stopped by the police and long story short, they found a gun in the car. The gun was my girls but it was in the car with me. I was stupid because i knew it was there and thought it was cool. Thats the way a 20 year old thinks, and because of that, my life is garbage. But i will get over it, thats not the hard part.

The hard part is my wife is going forward and i am staying behind, treading water. I walk around a beutiful house everyday, never forgetting how little i contribute to it. I do the grass and repairs, but any real man understands what i am talking about.
I have nothing! Ok i have a few web sites and blogs that get traffic pretty good, but maintaining that takes me 10 hrs a day, because i cant afford to pay for things. I have to learn, practice and install everthing. I have to answer stuff that should be autorespond, i have nothing. But i know the 8months of 10 hour days will pay off one day, and then i can relax. But until then i will know that though my wife never complains much, she is slowly losing respect for me. And maybe passing it down to my kids.

I will continue to do all i listed and look for employment. I am over qualified for everything. A 39 year old man, who has never had a job that wasnt start up for someone else. Allot of people are aware of my skills with computers, but i have no documentation to back it up, so i do anything to help my girl, even though she doesnt need it, or me. Dam that hurt to say. But yall pray for me, because i am going to keep on keeping on until i crack this bastard. And i will be fixing more computers as soon as i get money to advertise.

What i won't be doing is selling dope, no matter how quick it could make me back into a man (providing for my family) And if you know of any work get in contact with me. my name and number are on ghettobillgates.com under my picture. Or if you in a great mood donate a quarter or two... peace yall. and keep your heads up, no matter whats going on below.

Michigan Govenor denies "water challenged" wisconsin access to lake michigan water. thousands could die.

A quiet bid by New Berlin and state officials to expand the community's access to Lake Michigan water was struck down this week by the governor of Michigan, an indication that the feel-good push by the eight Great Lakes governors to tighten laws protecting the world's largest freshwater system could soon turn ugly.

Quote: "The political conventional wisdom in Michigan is very straightforward: Dont approve a Great Lakes diversion, especially before an election.

- Noah Hall,
law professor at Wayne State University" click title to view full story.